Acorns were good enough until bread was invented. ~Decimus Junis Juvenalis, A.D. 125

This is dedicated to the many customers and fans of my pastry goods sold at the cafe. My hope is that you will all dust up your workspaces and nourish your soul by baking something today, and, baking enough of whatever it is you make to share with a neighbor or friend.

Waffles are hands-down or up, my favorite breakfast food. The frozen ones have about as much flavor as a fence, so when I was searching for the perfect waffle I came across a recipe handed down from a guy who has been making them 25 years at a corner cafe in my neighborhood. I call him Mr. Waffle.
One day I sat at his tiny four barstool establishment, while he ran the grill in a fever to get orders out. In between tickets we talked about the business and I watched him make probably fourteen waffles including my crispy, crevasse laden, maple syrup delivery device. It couldn’t wait any longer and I asked him point blank about what makes up these delicious damn things. Without quip or quabble he jotted the recipe down on a napkin for me. I was stunned, and grateful, so I paid up and Immediately drove to the restaurant supply house and purchased a sturdy belgian waffle maker, went home and stirred up a batch the next morning. They simply were not the same.. not even close. So, I assumed after all our restaurant banter he just didn’t want to give away the secret recipe and have me making HIS waffles at my cafe. Sure, I understand.. but, I didn’t want to get fooled again, so I set out to concoct my own prize waffle recipe. After much trial and error I had what I considered the perfect waffle.

About a year or so later I ran into Mr. Waffle during a shopping run and he remembered our conversation about such things. I got up the nerve to blurt out something about the recipe and how I thought it was bogus.. that he duped me a little.. in a wink and smile kind of way. He seemed puzzled and genuinely concerned, so I told him from memory the recipe he gave me and he laughed. “There are no eggs in there! .. you have to have eggs, so, I must of accidentally left em out.. sorry about that, but you probably figured that out right away.” “Yea, oh yes..” I replied. Sure, I did.. No, actually it never crossed my freekin mind in all those blurred moments of waffle science in my kitchen. I blasted home to make HIS newly amended recipe and my recipe side by side. Fired the iron and popped out about three of each.. Which one was better? That is for the golden waffle gods to know.. but for now.. try the recipe below and be thankful I included eggs in it.

~ To get it right, the iron needs to be hot, very hot.. and no peeking during the cooking or waffle catastrophe will prevail. Also, if you don’t have a venerable bathtub of real butter and a two-thousand dollar bottle of liquid love they call grade B maple syrup, then you ain’t got nothing.

Belgian Waffles
Ingredients:

½ lb European butter (find it at Trader Joe’s!)
6 tbs peanut oil
6 tbs honey (use some good local stuff, not that mass marketed clover honey)
1/3 cup sweetened applesauce
3 tsp vanilla extract
4 large eggs (don’t forget em)
4 cups pastry flour
1 cup AP flour (AP stands for All Purpose)
2 Tbs malted barley flour (another Bob’s Red Mill trip for you to make)
1 Tbs double acting baking powder
4 cups whole milk at room temp (don’t skimp.. use whole milk and not skim or it wont taste the same)

Method:

Melt butter in saucepan, tun off the heat and add in oil, vanilla, and honey, mix well and whisk in eggs then set aside. Sift all dry ingredients together, twice. Yea, trust me twice IS necessary to get the light and airy crispy thing going.., add milk, and add applesauce to the dry mix and stir very gently, (don’t overmix or stir wildly as this will make frisbees instead of waffles) then whisk in the butter/egg mixture and continue stirring just until combined (again, stir delicately, or better yet FOLD it together with a wide spatula). Do not grease waffle iron. Bake on level 4 on waffle iron (or according to the waffle iron manufacturers instructions) until golden brown. Serve on a preheated, hot round plate with room temperature butter (you did take the butter out of the fridge before you started right?) and a drum of maple syrup (heated gently of course).

So you need a waffle iron and some inspiration?

First, go to a restaurant supply and pick up the best waffle iron you can afford. They are much better than the one’s they sell at Tarzshay or some ranky all purpose appliance store. Make sure it is round, flippable, and has an indicator light to tell you when your crispy friend is done. And, look for tallness.. the taller the little cast squares on the iron, means deeper syrup holes and that means.. well you know what that means.. MORE syrup to be held by the waffle! and, that is the goal right?
Happy Waffling.

crispety, crunchety..

When you skip breakfast, you are likely to become tired, and unrelenting in your search to mame kittens in foreign lands.  When your brain and body run low on fuel, bad things can happen to seemingly good neighbors, then, by mid-morning, you might grab a another cup of office coffee.. the stuff which peels nail polish.  This might work for a few minutes, but by lunch time you are hungry, crabby, and ready to hang your boss by the nards with your rubber-band ball. Will it really work? Perhaps.. but, perhaps your mood might make you a little more prone to make unhealthy choices at lunch too, and who wants that? not you or your imaginary friend.

Skipping breakfast is a common strategy for losing weight, but not a smart one because just look at those pop stars who do it,, they got rich.. and dammit, you don’t want that!  Many people believe that they will lose weight if they skip meals, but that just isn’t true; the body expects to be refueled a few times each day starting with breakfast and ending with 3 or 4 menthol cigarettes.

Actually, eating breakfast is good for weight loss. In fact, people who eat breakfast are more likely to maintain a healthy weight, stop overeating, and criticizing small children.

So get up, get out there and eat breakfast you ninny.

This recipe like many of mine is from the personal archives for which I have locked away for many months.. am I saving them for a rainy day? or, to be packed up on a disc or some form of futuristic media and tucked right next to me in my final resting place?(Don’t worry, it wont be for a while, and yea my family should know I wanna be decked in velvetine plaid and such.) no, not necessarily.. just stored until the time is right and the earths rotation slows.. or something like that.
Stop worrying about me and just make this fabulous cake would ya? the time is ripe, so go ahead..

Blueberry buttermilk coffeecake

Ingredients
6 oz unsalted quality or artisan butter
3 tbs vegetable oil (regular 2nd press olive oil works best I think)
4 tbs shortening
2 cups bakers sugar (labeled sometimes superfine)
2 lg eggs +1 yolk
1 cup buttermilk, again.. use something locally special!
1 tsp pure almond extract
4 cups unbleached pastry flour (available at Bob’s Red Mill in Portland, Oregon)
1 tbs baking powder
1 tsp kosher salt
2 cups fresh blueberries, coated with 2 tbs flour (I like to use Oregon Mountain huckleberries when they are in season as it makes this cake about a thousand times more flavorful)

Method: All ingredients must be room temperature or at least 70 degrees.
In a stand mixer cream butter, olive oil and shortening until smooth. While mixer is running gradually add sugar and beat 2 minutes. Whisk eggs and vanilla together and add to the butter mixture while mixer is running. You should have a light and airy mix. Combine the buttermilk and almond extract. Add the dry ingredients in thirds alternating with the buttermilk mixture. Mix just until combined! [Overmixing results in overdevelopment of the batter] Fold in the flour coated blueberries. Scoop batter into pan, and rap pan on the counter to distribute evenly. Sprinkle on strusel topping lightly and do not pack down.

Pan size: 9×13 aluminum or silicone
Oven temp: 350°
Time: 40-50 minutes
Yield: 1 very tasty coffeecake

Variations: use fresh or frozen peaches, fresh or frozen raspberries, fresh prepared or dried cranberries, canned or prepared apples, nuts-like toasted walnuts, or top the coffecake before it goes into the oven with the walnut butter struesel below or just with sliced almonds and fine sugar.

Walnut butter streusel topping

Streusel Topping:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
¾ cup walnuts or pecans
1/4 cup oats

method: in a food processor, pulse all ingredients until pea size crumbs appear, then pulse just 2 or 3 more times if needed.